Well I made up with some friends today, it was strange how it all happened, one minute they were saying how pathetic I was and how I wasn't trying to get better (I was), and then the next they ask me to come out with them on Friday.
I had a dream that something like this happened, but when I got to the place to meet them they all threw eggs at me. I hope that doesn't actually happen. I've also been having dreams about being friends with Conor again, its always the same, we apologize to each other and act like nothing ever happened. Strange. I guess it came true? Maybe my mind was telling me to be friends with him again. At least I wont have to worry about people being mean to me again, apart from Sam but he doesn't bother me in the slightest. He's too chicken to do anything all he can do is like bitchy statuses and comments.
Last night was really bad depression wise, but today I guess things are looking up. I'm still switching my anti depressants to Prozac though. I wrote out a letter on my laptop of things I'd want to say to my doctor, I don't know if I'll use it but I definitely want to. At least I have some friends again now, that will be nice. Maybe I could be the person I used to be again, lose some more weight and fit into my old clothes. I'm going to try really hard to get along with everybody and this time I won't let anyone bitch about people to me. I always get the blame for it so I'm done with that.
I was supposed to go to a firework show with my mum and little sister on Friday but now I've cancelled our plans so I can go out with everyone on Friday. I feel really bad and she was obviously upset but if you finally get a chance to hang out with people your own age and behave like a normal teenager for a while you do it. I'll make it up to mum somehow, I wonder what I'll wear on Friday. I'm being silly now, I'll wear what I normally wear, nothing fancy.
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