I feel a lot better lately, the anti depressants are really working and they don't give me all the shitty side effects citalopram did. Everything looks brighter and I hope this means I'm getting better. I got World of Warcraft back and that kinda helps, gives me something to do and some limits to achieve. I'm lame ha. I don't feel so weird about Adrian either, I just think about how much of a prick he was towards the end and that makes me feel okay about him shagging some dirty slut from college (if he does). He was so horrible about me trying to kill myself, I accepted that for a couple of months but when I needed him he wasn't there. He was never there in the end, and I had no one but my mum and she was busy. No wonder I felt more suicidal.
Christmas is almost here and at first I was desperate to feel the 'christmas spirit', I baked gingerbread, watched christmas films, sung christmas songs, decorated the chistmas tree, put up decorations etc but I'm still not feeling it :( I kinda gave up, I'll try watching a christmas film today (It's currently 10 past 11 pm and this is my morning, fucked up insomnia). I cant wait for my christmas presents and stocking though (the stocking is the best bit!).
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